so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
my being single is dangerous.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Randomize
