I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Randomize
