Buhtt sex?
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
Randomize
