I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
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