Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Randomize