Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
