Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
