forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
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