Rock
Scissors
Fuck
how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
Randomize
