he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
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