I looked at my own cervix.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
there is glitter all over my balls
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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