I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
