I hate your face
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
