kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
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