After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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