We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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