ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
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