TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
I need to calm my uterus...
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Randomize
