Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
