If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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