Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
Randomize
