how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize