I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
