I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Randomize
