her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
Randomize
