My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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