Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
