i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
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