I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
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