So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize