you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Come share oat with me in your robe
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
