Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
