Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
