I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
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