please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
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