Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
