It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
