In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Randomize
