On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Randomize
