Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize