when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Randomize
