I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
