i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Randomize
