did you get engaged???
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I wear drunk well.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Randomize