I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
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