He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
