the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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