I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
