the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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