that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
Randomize
