People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Randomize
