i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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