Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Randomize
