talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
