How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
Randomize
