You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
Randomize
