We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
