Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
Gay?
German.
Pity.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Randomize
