I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
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