and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Randomize
