Heybabeimwearingurpanties
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
