i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
