How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
