i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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