you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Randomize
