Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Randomize
