Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
Thank you for not boning my boss.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize
