are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
Randomize
