what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
Randomize
