Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
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