Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
Randomize
