He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Randomize
